
(301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
#f8f8f8

(301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

(313): I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Suggested by nomnombbkyu

(817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that’s labeled “not for baby turtles”?

(313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

(575): We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.

(314): i can’t believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.

(720): This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.


(902): Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.

(803): The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german….
| Anonymous asked | |
| Q: Did you really have to go with a transphobic text like that? Gross. |
I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I didn’t think of it that way really, but I can see why it was wrong and you’re absolutely right.
I’ll delete it right now.

(214): New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

(574): Why not. Its my b-day, you’re in town, I’m in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don’t see anything not good about those things.
Suggested by nomnombbkyu

(760): my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg…

(310): Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)